Yes folks, I'm still alive. Between work and GSW politics I've pretty much had zero energy to do my usual witchy Samhain madness. Yes, I am stuck in a rut; a rut made of apathy, exhaustion, and frustration. It's all I can do to just light a little incense and give thanks every day, let alone plan an execute an elaborate sabbat ritual.
During better times I usually feel a tremendous pull towards doing magick and celebrating the season of spookiness - the one time of the year where people don't look at you like a mad person for running around a cemetery with a big grin on your face. This year I've got nothing. No pull. Zip. Zilch. Nada. I am a big pile of mushy ennui. I think my mundane stress is deadening my ability to feel anything else, let alone perform a major working. So this year I'm not going to.
Among other things, Samhain is about renewal. It's the Celtic new year, what better time to get rid of horrible crap that makes you nuts and reach towards something better. Yeah, in a perfect world I'd do the whole ritual bath, major working, oaths, and whatnot for accomplishing my goals. But it isn't a perfect world. My shadow is currently eating my brain and a combination of pessimism and apathy (hooray precursors of horrible depression) and I just don't have the will for it. So instead I'll just take a nice bath, light my Santisima Muerte candle and burn a little dragon's blood while reading a good book and trying to actually take care of myself tonight. It might not be a Samhain of legend, but it's what I actually need right now. I'm no good to the gods if I go insane.
During better times I usually feel a tremendous pull towards doing magick and celebrating the season of spookiness - the one time of the year where people don't look at you like a mad person for running around a cemetery with a big grin on your face. This year I've got nothing. No pull. Zip. Zilch. Nada. I am a big pile of mushy ennui. I think my mundane stress is deadening my ability to feel anything else, let alone perform a major working. So this year I'm not going to.
Among other things, Samhain is about renewal. It's the Celtic new year, what better time to get rid of horrible crap that makes you nuts and reach towards something better. Yeah, in a perfect world I'd do the whole ritual bath, major working, oaths, and whatnot for accomplishing my goals. But it isn't a perfect world. My shadow is currently eating my brain and a combination of pessimism and apathy (hooray precursors of horrible depression) and I just don't have the will for it. So instead I'll just take a nice bath, light my Santisima Muerte candle and burn a little dragon's blood while reading a good book and trying to actually take care of myself tonight. It might not be a Samhain of legend, but it's what I actually need right now. I'm no good to the gods if I go insane.
I have also been in a rut of apathy and stress. During Samhain, I sat on my butt and played video games. I blocked off time from work, and instead of doing awesome things, I was a lump. Bleh.
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