On Offerings and Sacrifice

Over the last few weeks I’ve been thinking a lot about my relationships with the deities and spirits that I work with on a regular basis.  I’m always looking for ways to strengthen and be more authentic in my relationships with my allies.  During this time of the year the walls between the mundane and metaphysical parts of reality are thin and I feel a lot closer to my non-corporeal allies, making it easier than usual to do workings with them.  That makes this time of year a great one for doing a working specifically designed to strengthen those relationships.  One of the easiest traditional way to improve a relationship with a metaphysical being of any kind (deity, spirit, ancestor, fae, etc.) is to give them some kind of offering or sacrifice.

An intricate handmade candle makes for a decent offering.

Let’s take a moment to think about what exactly offerings and sacrifices really are.  Some sources might use the terms offering and sacrifice interchangeably – as they are both something that you give to a being as a gesture of appreciation, supplication, or appeasement.  However, I find a crucial distinction between them – what they mean to you as the person giving them.  The way I look at it, an offering is something you give a being that you know they want.  One traditionally offers things like incense, favorite foods, flowers, energy, attention, etc.; things that tradition or gnosis tells us that the being we’re making offerings to wants from us.  An offering doesn’t really have to mean anything to you personally, it just has to be pleasing to the one you’re offering it to.  A sacrifice is something that is meaningful to the one doing the sacrifice that is being given up in a way that it takes away from the sacrificer in favor of the one being sacrificed to.  You do this as a sign or devotion or respect; essentially putting the needs ot the recipient above your own.  For example, if I, as a non-smoker, make an offering of tobacco to Baron Samedi (something that he is known to enjoy) I am offering him the tobacco and sacrificing the money used to purchase it.  However, if I were a smoker and was giving the Baron some of my favorite tobacco I would be both offering and sacrificing the tobacco itself – as the Baron wants it and I am giving up my own use of it.  Basically, an offering is something you give because the receiver wants it and a sacrifice is something that you’re giving up in order to show how important the one being sacrificed is to you.

Different beings and different types of beings often have preferences for the offerings and sacrifices they receive.  Some entities want offerings and don’t seem to have much of an opinion on whether they involve a sacrifice.  In my experience, ancestors and many fae appreciate offerings but don’t really care whether a sacrifice is involved in procuring them.  Other entities place great importance on sacrifice, sometimes to the point where the amount of sacrifice is more important than the suitability of what’s being sacrificed.  For example, some deities or spirits enjoy when a supplicant makes a vow of austerity (e.g. I will forgo consuming alcohol for a month) because of the devotion this shows, even though it doesn’t really give anything concrete to them.  This is most common with deities that demand explicit showings of devotion and spirits that want you to abstain from something for your own good.

In the past I’ve given a lot of offerings but haven’t really made many sacrifices.  Sure, I buy high quality incense to offer and go out of my way to get the good rum for the Baron, but I honestly don’t see that as much of a sacrifice.  The only time I really feel like I’m giving something up is when I offer really good food.  I have a tremendous amount of respect for the many allies that have helped and continue to help me and I feel like they deserve more from me than a bit of incense and burned beeswax.  Most traditional offerings are things that everyday people had around the house, that they used on a regular basis, and that those without excess income would miss: food, alcohol, herbs and spices, etc.  In my comfortable suburban existence giving up a bite of food or a pinch of dried herbs doesn’t really feel like a sacrifice.  I don’t really drink, so I could pour out a whole bottle of liquor without much pause (unless it was super expensive).  I have a fair number of little luxuries in my life: fine food, high quality tea and treats, electronics, toys, etc., that might make a more authentic sacrifice than more traditional offerings.  I particularly enjoy having a cup of fine tea and a sweet in the afternoon, so sharing that would be much more of a sacrifice to me than a shot of tequila.  Another good sacrifice would be putting my phone and iPad on my altar for an hour or two and not touching them or my computer (I have a media addiction.  This should shock no one.).  Of course, if I were to ask for a big favor the sacrifice would have to be larger and more meaningful.  For everyday offerings, something small should suffice.

Some of the finest chocolate you can get 'round these parts

I feel like one should find a balance with offerings and sacrifice.  It’s important to offer spirits/deities/etc. things that they want.  It’s also important to make a show of effort/sacrifice in the making of those offerings.  If the offerings your allies want are things that you want as well then they can easily be both offerings and sacrifices, but if they aren’t then you should go the extra mile to also offer something that is a sacrifice to you.  For me that means I’ll give the Baron his weekly shot of rum and pinch of tobacco while also sacrificing some dragonwell tea and a bit of organic fair trade dark chocolate or a macaron.  It also means that when I make offerings to the ancestors I’ll be sure to give them things I like or things that required my own effort to make, not just purchase (think baking cookies vs. buying them).  It doesn’t have to be a lot, and it doesn’t have to be every day, but adding a bit of real sacrifice to regular offerings makes them more meaningful and a lot less routine. 

Why I'm a Witch

The holidays are interesting.  Being with my family is always a double-edged sword.  I love them dearly, but it makes me sad that I can't be open with them about my religion.  My parents and sister know (though they're not terribly comfortable with it), and my in-laws know (they're super cool that way), but my extended family do not because I'm afraid they'd either disown me or try to convert me all day.  No fun.  All the bother reminds me of just why I do this in the first place.

Way back in my very first post to this blog I told the story of how I came to Witchcraft.  When I reach one of those rough points where it's hard to blend my magickal and mundane lives I like to think back to that first real experience of owning my spirituality.  However, that was an awfully long time ago.  I've had some profound spiritual experiences since then (particularly back when I was an undergrad), but only a few points really stand out as moments when everything fit so perfectly.

Oddly enough, all of my most profound spiritual experiences have been either when I was alone or when I've been in a group and buggered off to do my own thing.  Perhaps that's just the nature of personal gnosis - it's yours and yours alone; or maybe it's just because my deity doesn't play very well with others ;) 

I'm reminded of my first trip to Pantheacon in 2010.  I went to a lot of amazing workshops and attended several rituals.  Most of the rituals were...well..fine.  There was a lot of pomp and circumstance and very little actual energy being moved.  It's hard to do a public ritual where everyone is really involved (I know because I've tried - even succeeded a few times), but a lot of them could have been better. 

Then I had the great fortune of actually making it in the door to T. Thorn Coyle's big Morrighan ritual.  Now that was a ritual!  I've been to plenty of rituals where someone "drew down" a deity and approximately zilch actually happened.  But in this ritual, when that gal called down the Morrighan she was there with us, palpably so.  You could actually feel the room swell in an effort to contain her.  It was an ecstatic experience that I would be hard pressed to describe.  Of course, for me the most profound moment was when I stepped back from the circle and the Morrighan actually spoke to me directly.  At that moment I was both part of the ritual and outside it.  I was physically there participating, but my spirit was totally engaged in this amazing one on one experience just adjacent the ritual.  I know that the ritual facilitated the experience; it got the Morrighan's attention and opened me to where I could listen to her properly.  I've had that kind of experience several times as a solitary, but only rarely before in a group and never in something public.

It's moments like that one than remind me of why I do this.  Being a witch is hard, particularly a shadow practitioner - anyone who says otherwise is doing it wrong, but the rewards are great.  Being able to have profound personal experiences with deity is a reward without peer.  If you've never stood in the full sight of your god then you cannot understand just how powerful it is.  That is why I do this.  It's something anyone can do.  You don't need fancy robes or tools, you don't need a big coven or a renowned teacher.  All you need is the willingness to open yourself to deity and to do your best to align yourself to it, to make yourself beautiful in it's sight - however that works for your deity.  It's not an easy path, but it's worth it. 

New Moon

It is the new moon as I write this.  I love new moons.  It feels like a blank slate where everything is possible.  Don’t get me wrong, I love the power of a full moon but it just isn’t quite the same.  There’s something about the depth of the night when they’re no moon.  It’s like there’s a stillness that goes far beyond sleep, almost as if you could walk right into another world if you could find the path.

Back when I first started practicing magick I diligently celebrated every new and full moon esbat with a formal ritual.  Nowadays I celebrate the moon a little differently.  I still love doing big formal ritual, but I generally only bother if I have some specific magickal working that I want to give a boost.  If my working is only devotional I usually don’t pull out the props.  My gods don’t care whether my candles are pure beeswax or if my athame is damascus steel.  The gods can see into our hearts and minds and as long as your intent is pure and strong, everything else is just window dressing.

I like to celebrate the New Moon with some quiet contemplation.  I generally light a tea light or two (black if I have them – I stock up during Halloween), make a nice cup of tea, and have a seat on the couch in my office.  I’ll spend some time writing in my journal and generally decompressing.  I find that writing in my journal helps me to quiet all the crazed mish-mosh in my head.  It always seems that once my thoughts are on paper and outside my head I can look at them much more objectively.

If I feel the need I’ll break out one of my tarot or oracle decks and do some divination.  I have more than a dozen different decks, stones, runes, and pendulums, but I seem to always have one or two that stand out as the right ones to use for any given question.  I generally use beautifully illustrated cards, like the Brian Froud Hear of Faery Oracle, because the images speak to me in a way that stones or runes just don’t.  Although I do have a set of divination tiles that I created that I use for special occasions (I’ll blog about them in detail later).  The cards generally help me sort through all the things that confound me and I end up with a much clearer head.

I always close my esbats by communicating with deity.  Most of the time this involves having a chat with my spirit guide.  Yes, a chat.  I don’t conjure, summon, or make offerings to my spirit guide (not that he minds the occasional offering).  If I’m doing magick he just shows up and we chat.  It’s rather like having an imaginary friend who’s much wiser than you are.  I chat with him and get the answers I need.  Sometimes, when the situation is very complicated or I feel the need, I will go and communicate directly with the Crone - that is a bit more complicated.  The Hag is not a kind and gentle Goddess; she won’t speak to me directly unless I’ve earned the right.  When I speak to her I have to journey to her realm (the underworld), pass her guards, and usually make some kind of sacrifice.  This sacrifice is usually mental, though occasionally it’s physical (like sitting in an uncomfortable position for a long time or being really cold)*.  Most often my sacrifice is to look into what I call Dorian Grey’s Mirror.  Taking a good look at one’s weakest, nastiest, most base personal traits is a lot more difficult than you think, and when that look is powered by harsh winter it can be downright painful.  Once I’ve proven my worthiness the Crone will instruct me as she sees fit.

Simple as they are, my esbats are profoundly meaningful to me.  I always take the time to thank my Lady and my guide when they’ve helped me and will often burn some incense for them, but that’s really the most formal thing I do.  Just taking the time to reflect and be still, to really think about what my spirituality means to me is all I need to do.  My Lady knows my heart and it is hers.

All that matters it that which puts you in the sight of your God.

* Note – Sacrifice to my Goddess NEVER involves other living creatures.  I do not kill or injure others in my workings.  The blood of another is not mine to give.  If blood is ever involved in my workings it’s my own.